Making a sun shade out of old dacron windsurf sail. How to?

[isobars]

How to make a sunshade out of an old windsurfing sail:
1. Lean it against a tree.
2. Crawl under it.
3. If it gets too noisy, insert earplugs.
Corollary to #3: If it's that noisy, why are you lying under a sail rather than sailing?
4. If the sun moves, repeat Step 2.
5. If the sail blows away, repeat Step 1, then Step 2.
6. When all that gets to be too much hassle, just lie in the TREE's shade and try to muster the energy to repeat #2 as necessary.

Warning: Do not try this with a monofilm sail. You will go deaf, bake to a crisp very quickly, or both.

If you get too crisp under the monofilm sail, wear your full wetsuit next time so you stew rather than bake. It's a question of whether you prefer jerky or pot roast.

Love that Sheldon sail, BTW, and didn't even need to read its label. They were smooth as silk in gusty Gorge winds.

[dabull1]

Iso, I read your post and dragged out my coveted Angulo 5.7 wavesail and meticulously followed your instructions... SWEET!!! Then it blew over the fence onto my neighbor's new barbeque.... did you know W/S sails are quite flammable? Luckily, he had just tapped a new keg and put the blaze out with cold Shock Top. His dog was only slightly singed , and his guests thought this was staged entertainment. I'll really miss that old Pryde... Commando Bull Out!

[MalibuGuru]

Nothing funnier than a burning dog and a bunch of red necks drinking beer!

I suggest going to Costco and buying the $17 model.

[biffmalibu]

Please refer to the original topic post and read. Maybe even read it twice.
Inexperienced blowhards, please restrain yourselves from derailing the topic.
If you want to start a different topic, go ahead and do so.

Costco/money is not an option a solution; I want to hear from creative DIYers who have actually tried and failed, failed, failed, and maybe succeeded.

Thank you.

[isobars]

At least rednecks drinking beer have the means, knowhow, and willingness to extinguish the burning dog, presuming they can catch it.

Sorry, Biff, but if we had a perfect solution for ya, we'd already have posted it. It's not clear to me why you can't just staple/duct tape/glue it to the house and replace it when it finally destructs.

Mike \m/

[isobars]